A man has his pride!

I thought me and Penny had life pretty much sussed out. I had my job at the factory and got pretty regular overtime. Between that and the family allowance we were O.K. The kids were fine - growing up fast but they were good kids and doing pretty well at school. Then this damn virus struck! At first it sounded as if it was something that wouldn't affect us; it was all over in China but before you knew it it had spread across the world and was attacking and killing people in the U.K. You can't see it, smell it or feel it but it is there and it's a killer; an assassin.Life changed overnight! Unless a business was deemed to be essential it was shut down so the factory closed for a start. Then the schools closed and we were told we had to do home schooling. Everyone had to stay in their own homes unless they went out for essential items or an hour's exercise and when you did go out what they called 'social distancing' was in place; we had to keep two metres away from anyone we saw. Suddenly we were living pretty much on a shoestring. Penny managed really well and luckily the kids aren't fussy eaters but it was tight. 

We didn't realise how difficult it would be to get an online delivery either - three week wait! It wasn't helped by the fact that the vultures in our society raided the supermarkets and stripped the shelves of all the essentials. Crazy! Not to mention selfish. We managed with what we had in and topped up from the village shop but it got to the point where we needed a shop proper so I ventured into town to Tescos. That was some experience I can tell you. Got flagged down by a copper just outside the village wanting to know where I was going because there were restrictions on what constituted essential travel. Good job the Brits are known as a nation of queuers! Queue to get parked, queue to get in the store, keep two metres away from everyone else, queue to pay - I thought I was never going to get back home. It wasn't an experience I wanted to repeat in a hurry.

I made sure I did my share of the chores and helped out with the kids as much as I could. Penny was particularly good on the home schooling - thought she might try for a job as a classroom assistant when things got back to normal. Mind you people started talking about 'if' things got back to normal rather than 'when' which was worrying. Then out of the blue Pen got pregnant but lost the baby. I felt less than useless let me tell you. All the housework and looking after the kids fell to me and Pen was seriously down for a while. I could understand that - I was disappointed too; it had taken me a while to get used to the idea of another child but I had done and I was looking forward to it. But I know it was different for Penny and I just didn't know what I could do to buck her up. Luckily another lady in the village who had gone through the same experience some years ago got to know about it and they started to talk on the telephone. That was more help than anything. That's the nice thing about villages - people look out for each other. Seems to me with this virus there has been more of that than ever which can only be a good thing. Someone has written about it actually, there are four books out there describing what has been going on here in the midst of all this madness. The cover at the top of this post is the third in the series.

I was worried about my job; the vibes weren't good and the news was all doom and gloom with forecasts of unemployment soaring. Meanwhile Penny decided she was going to go and clean for some other woman in the village. Apparently the woman that was helping her over the baby used to do it. Obviously people hadn't been allowed to have their cleaners in their home but it was one of the first things to give which I thought a bit odd but what do I know? Tony Jackson is a simple bloke that just goes with the flow. I wasn't happy about it even though I knew the money would make a difference. I didn't want Penny doing too much for one thing and for another I will freely admit my pride was hurt. I am the man of the house when all is said and done and it's my job to bring home the bacon. 

I'd been looking for other jobs of course, but they were few and far between and every man and his dog were chasing them. I will turn my hand to anything but when you are up against people with relevant experience you stand no chance. Pen is great, keeps saying something will turn up but it's not that simple.

Nobody could have predicted how different life would be in a relatively short space of time. I just thought our lives would tick on as they always had. We'd have picnics on the beach through the summer and go on days out when I had my fortnight's break. Well that all went out of the window and look at us! For a long time we weren't allowed to go out and about but then once the travel restrictions were lifted people were flocking to our beaches from far and wide and I would no more take the kids to the beach as things were than fly. Packing in like sardines - lunacy!

I know as the man in the house I have to protect and reassure and I do my best. It's hard though, really hard because do you know something? I'm as scared as anyone.